Meijer and the Meijer goodbye

I'm writing the 112th post of the Meijer Chronicles, from two states south of the nearest superstore.

I've moved from MI. never again to feel the whoosh of the automatic doors, to hear the senior citizen store greeter cough-clear his throat and then rasp/wheeze a "welcome to Meijer" greeting.

no more crazies, no more discovering foreign-to-me (with no actual hobby) bits and bobs in bins, and in aisles I've never traversed. no more observations of Meijer associates living day-in, day-out drudgery...

am I okay with that? 

😭

*distraught sniffles* idk... maybe?

I mean humanity inside a grocery store are the same everywhere, right? right?!

this is the closest grocery store to me now. 

side note: ever curious about font-age, I just couldn't place what this font could possibly be... clearly not the beloved helvetica, so of course, I googled it: Opificio Bold  👀

no opinion yet, but safe bet I'll be mulling it over for the next few months. 

I now live in rural Georgia, or in the "country" as locals refer to the area, amongst citizens who would like you to remember that they live in "Appalachia Georgia," or another accepted moniker, "North Georgia." never in conversation, or any other form of communication, insinuate that they are a suburb of At-lan-ta. *southern gasp!!*

full disclosure: I have shopped at Publix before. 

I lived in Florida from 1994-1996, and the local store was a small Publix. during that era in America, grocery stores were relatively small, utilitarian; not the flashy behemoths lined along the edges with nail salons, Subway, eyeglass outlets, Starbucks, Auntie Anne's pretzels, banks, and/or small animal veterinarian care. (<---- this enclave/office in Meijer was always empty, as in lights out, no employees, much less domesticated animals. 🤷🏻‍♀️)

so, I felt confident I knew what to expect.

😏 <--- that's my "oh, my sweet newly-North Georgian, summer child" smirk.

so with a fond farewell, I wave buh-bye to Meijer, and hope y'all will join me on my new southern, yet North Georgia, adventure!

check it out ---> tracinellmovedtogeorgia.blogspot.com

Meijer and the not ok corral

pics for this post! 🤳🏼 🎉

when I took these pics, a Meijer associate, sitting Godfather-esque on a battery-drained electric cart, took umbrage at my blatant photoshoot of her fiefdom.

"can I help you?"

I kept snapping pics. I'm so good at ignoring supposed authority figures, especially when they are 20-something, unwashed hair, mouth-breathers.

MB shifted in her defunct electric throne, "ma'am?! can I help you?"

nary a glance as I walk away, "no."

a passive-aggressive spewing of "how dare she?!" snorts/grunts churned in my wake, but 🤷🏻‍♀️, my dedication to blog integrity trumps all Meijer associates' (aka #Meijersnowflakes™️) pretend indignation. 

let's unpack the pics...

I've only been out of the state for a few weeks, and this ⬇︎ is what I walk in to: 

major remodel on the west-side entrance, with, by the way, no heads-up railroad construction containers in the west parking lot! it just appeared in 2 weeks! 

14 cashier-run/conveyor belt cattle customer chutes... GONE! 

plus(!) 6 u-scan kiosks e l i m i n a t e d! 👀 (sidenote: zoom in, I just noticed that I captured the Godfather MB on her throne!)

thrilled-at-the-possibilities-goosebumps whooshed across my skin: has the superstore been chosen for a modern-techno-whiz-bang check-out pilot program? 

🙏🏽  🤞🏼

exhibit a:

nope. *thrilled goosebumps deflate*

huh, the superstore just became Walmart. 

yeeppp, take it all in folks; black pegboards cowhand-designed to guide all carts and shuffling bodies into a 12 kiosk corral, with only 1 SotPoP!! 🤠

after snapping the not-up-and-running-yet corral pic, and ignoring the MB, I hurry to the east side entrance, not sure what to expect amongst all the dizzying possibilities a-whirring inside my mind.

I skid to a stop, the SAME 12 kiosk corral(!) plus a winding line of befuddled Meijer cattle (not even going to bother with the strike-through, cattle is spot-on) all collectively unsure whether they are in line to checkout/escape, or have mistakenly signed up for a preg-check 😳

the flying solo, exasperated SotPop (no doubt wishing she had a Meijer-issued cattle prod) is inundated with impatient bellows demanding attention for out-of-date coupons, faded UPC codes, u-scan sensor double-scanning, weight/scale malfunctions, the mystery u-scan offense, and the KarenCow insisting the Franzia box wine is on sale. #moooooo!

 

I watch SotPop escape the corral, headed toward the Podium of Power, when an elderly bovine points to a very short line and asks, "cash?" SotPop shakes her head, "credit only."

intrigued at the short line, I investigate...

exhibit b: 

behold! the new and improved(?) express u-scans... 

true to superstore logic, there are only 3 of them (well, this pic shows only 1 working kiosk), credit card only, carts discouraged, and just enough space for 1 bag of items. 

*sigh* 

some of my fave words are: change, progress, technology and mucho more that denote getting me through a blankety-blank check-out lane sooner(!)… but tbh, I fear this corral make-over is a giant leap backwards. 

*sudden realization gasp!* they got rid of the dedicated check-out lanes for the shipt/instacart/doordash multi-orders per cart shoppers!! 

⬆︎ the 20th Century, brought back to you by Moo-jer, the soooperstore.  🐮